Monday, January 29, 2024

Quasi Migration

What did I do today, you ask? Well I moved all my movie reviews from various discords and blogs to Letterboxd finally, since that is a better place for them. If you want to read my more shortform movie thoughts and recommendations - or you're just really bored - you can keep track back here.

https://letterboxd.com/bambamramfan/films/reviews/

My rating system is:

1 star = didn't finish 2 star = mediocre marvel movie 3 star = actually good 4 star = i would recommend 5 star = one of my favs of all time

Friday, January 26, 2024

Double Feature: Killers of the Flower Moon and Antebellum

One of the things I enjoy on this blog is comparing two disparate movies to discuss their similar themes. I've decided to make this a regular feature, and I should clearly start with the Oscar nominated movies. So we have one movie praised as a the culmination of a legendary director's career, and one by a first (and only) time director with a 31% at Rotten Tomatoes. One movie I felt mediocre on, and one that is my secret fave that no one else has seen. One claims to be a historical retelling, the other is a very far fetched fantasy - though probably both are equally believable.


As always, this review will bare all spoilers. One of which has no spoilers, and the other of which whose entire plot is a spoiler.

What do these two have in common that compels me so?

1. Whatever else you think of them, they have astounding levels of craftsmanship. 

Martin Scorsese CAN in fact take a 3.5 hour tale of an Oklahoma community and make it a tense thriller that is enjoyable to watch. Leo DiCaprio and Robert DeNiro are still at the top of their game, and in particular DeNiro has made "kindly grampa who also orchestrates killing" into what will be a beloved trope. But neither of them touch on fucking first timer Lily Gladstone playing a cypher who is a clever, jaded Native American woman but falls into a trap of love anyway, and can always feel the jaws of death slowly clenching around her community. She absolutely deserves that Oscar.

Whereas Antebellum asks Janelle Monae to carry an entire movie on her back, which she absolutely can. And Jena Malone picks up the slack for the villainous side of things. The production design is so rich and luscious, especially in highlighting evil. The scene transitions between the different settings are creative and great. And everyone who watches this movie HAS to make mention of the opening 5 minute shot that takes us through all the parts of a slave planation.

These are both quality films that are fun to watch and demonstrate real beauty.

2. Both wrestle head on with the historical injustices of racism. And did so in a way that got them a ton of controversy.

This is a rough one. It is clear both movies wanted to tell stories they thought were undertold, of how generations past have suffered and how that still resonates to the present day. It goes without saying that the "anti-woke" part of society (ie. people who have never even consumed some media because someone told them it was social justicey) would avoid these movies.

But the "woke" condemn them too for "white people telling other people's stories" and the awkwardness that entails, and for "exploiting pain and violence of a minority" which becomes the only way that minority is seen. Having seen both movies, I understand where these points are coming from. I don't find these problems ring so loud as to ruin the entire work for me.

I honestly think KotFM suffers more for this. But really because I always have this problem from Scorsese that I can't tell what story he is trying to tell. All of Scorsese's criminal epics have this problem: there isn't an arc so much as a flat line. 

"A normal white man is not in any way distinct, just wants to get ahead and make money. He drifts without much agency into making some money illegally, and it works fine because no one in authority cares. He has wild success and lives it up outrageously. Then... some people in authority suddenly do care. And because our criminal was a) an untalented idiot and b) didn't think anyone cared, their crimes are very easily untangled and exposed. Then they get sent to jail, but are unrepentant. In fact the psychology of the central character has never changed the entire time: they were a brute who got lucky until they were a brute who got unlucky."

What are we supposed to take from this? Is our criminal a unique specimen, driven to his misdeeds by special circumstance or tragic upbringing? No, no, the director insists he has no excuse. Ah, so is our criminal the everyman, and any of us could be like him if the dice had rolled differently? No, no, he is specially evil and deserves our spit.

In KotFM this applies to the whole town. The Hale family were killing dozens of Osage members because no one (with authority) cared, so they could get away with it. They would walk up to any homeless man on the street they had never met before and ask "Say, will you kill my sister in law for me?" The hired thugs were always cowards and idiots, so they'd be caught the second any real law enforcement turned up, and they'd flip on the people who hired them.

In fact, that becomes the most confusing part of the story. Some white people think the Native American life has no value, and will conspire about killing them and covering it up without a second thought. But other white people think this is a terrible crime, and will be unrelenting in pursuing it. And there is incredibly little difference shown between these people. The hardest part of this movie is keeping track of "is this white man one of the killers, or someone trying to stop the killers?" Who could tell the difference between Ernest's brother (bad) and brother-in-law (good)?

You could say "not being able to tell this is what makes being a person of color so scary" and touche, but this particular telling feels like more of a cop out than that. It wants to present both "white people are so casually evil..." and "... that other white people feel they have to stop them."

(This is made very explicit in the most comedic scene, where one white man is asking a lawyer on the legality of adopting two half-Indian children, becoming their next of kin, and then killing them to get the money. The lawyer is appalled and the criminal can't understand. But the directing bypasses the implication that the lawyer WAS a part of a healthy society that does not approve of the murder of children.)

Neither movie satisfies either the woke or anti-woke, and as such most ideologically-driven people in the ever churning culture wars won't end up watching it. Which really is a pity.

3. They are at heart stories of class envy.

The thing that struck me most about these tales of racism is how much they are about class. Both movies feature rich, or at least respectable and successful, minorities and show how much white people seethe at this wealth as unjust. They are not universalist movies about how "no person deserves oppression, every person has dignity" but are demands to "see that these people are rich and high-status, regardless of the color of their skin.

This is not to say anything in either movie DOES say you should degrade poor people. It's just they find it more important to say "how can you degrade this person? They're rich damnit!" (And all good imperial colonizers know, the way to control a population is to get their leaders more concerned with their own elite status than with solidarity with their own poor.)

My favorite part of Antebellum is dead in the middle, a classic Mike Yanagita scene that leaves you wondering what the point of that was. Janelle Monae, her black lady friend and her white lady friend, go out to a fancy restaurant. At some point a man sends them over a drink, and her black friend sends it back because it is too low class and "we are champagne ladies." Eventually they leave and take separate Ubers. Nothing else of note happens.

For one thing, it is deliciously tense. At this point we know Monae will be kidnapped, and we're waiting to see how. So every moment is filled with a little dread and anticipation as we wonder "is this how they get her?" And all three actresses are quite good at such comedic dialogue. Fun times.

But what really makes the scene fit with the movie is all the class security. They are trying to insist so hard to the world that "we are high status, even if we are Black!" (As part of the scene, the two Black friends comment that the hotel staff is brusque and rude to them. The white friend says she didn't notice anything rude. The two Black friends share A Look. No mention is made of how hotel staff would treat people who can't afford their fancy rooms.)

An editorial note to be clear: these characters are not wrong. Treating someone who is rich (or well educated, or talented) like they aren't just because of the color of their skin IS a form of racism. And if it happened to you, you'd be rightly furious. It's just also true that if we end the day just by treating rich Black people like rich white people, most forms of inequality will persist.

It's impossible to analyze these movies without being pulled to the dread specter of Tulsa. What caused the furious explosion of violence wasn't just racism, but racism mixed with "eat the rich" class envy. "You mean they drive fancy cars while cutting my wages, AND they're Black!!!!" Which is not to say "this is a righteous socialist act", but rather that "it will be very hard for a minority to get a foothold in the American power structure if we burn them down every time they get wealth like cutting tall poppies."

4. Both movies highlight the absurd denialism of a villain's fantasy.

This one is a bit of a stretch, but I could not resist.

One of the biggest controversies of KotFM has been the compartmentalized image of Ernest Burkhart. In the movie (and some historical tellings), he tenderly loved his wife while slaughtering her people. And I guess that sort of character, who learns the Osage language while raising his half-Osage children, but also participates in systemic oppression, could be an interesting contrast for a tragic character.

But for Ernest? Just no. He kills his wife's sisters. He poisons his wife too. Maybe that's a sort of love, but it's a creepy possessive love at the very most. These are not the actions of a tender or caring normal man. Which either means their marriage was pretty unhealthy, OR Ernest was several standard deviations from normality, which cuts against Scorsese's "we all are guilty" message. 

Whereas the brokenness of Antebellum's fantasy is its most interesting part.

The secret of the movie's setting is that white supremacist Civil War reenactors are kidnapping "uppity" black people (professors, famous artists) and imprisoning them on a fake plantation, basically to fill out their Antebellum LARP.

... the quick-witted among you will notice that you can't have confederate soldiers AND be "antebellum."

And the movie is full of this. The reenactors are rich and obsessed enough to get all the set design details for their little fantasy, but there are so many ways the fantasy can not be sustained. Soldiers keep their cell phones on them and they ring at inappropriate times. The Black prisoners keep mentioning their real life even though it carries a penalty of death. The slaves are kept at night in wooden sheds with open doors.

... which is very dumb, because any of the kidnapped victims if they run away, know there's towns and news crews just a few miles away if they can just get there. The reason chattel slaves of the 19th century didn't run away, was because there was just nowhere to go. To keep people nowadays, you'd have to build an actual modern day prison. But that would ruin the genteel fantasy.

It's warped to say all these anachronisms are the funniest part in a movie where men watch their wives burned to death. It is often a godawful experience. But the grisly inhumanity of it, that makes no sense even on its face, is kind of the point.

Sunday, January 14, 2024

American Pagan: Bull Durham

Watched the classic 80's sports/sex comedy "Bull Durham" (with the fabulous talents of Kevin Costner, Susan Sarandon, and Tim Robbins) for the first time and I was gobsmacked at how openly and deeply pagan it was.


Look, here are the very first lines of the movie, in a voiceover by Sarandon.

I believe in the Church of Baseball. I've tried all the major religions and most of the minor ones -- I've worshipped Buddha, Allah, Brahma, Vishnu, Shiva, trees, mushrooms, and Isadora Duncan... I know things. For instance -- There are 108 beads in a Catholic rosary. And -- There are 108 stitches in a baseball. When I learned that, I gave Jesus a chance. But it just didn't work out between us. The Lord laid too much guilt on me. I prefer metaphysics to theology. You see, there's no guilt in baseball... and it's never boring. Which makes it like sex. There's never been a ballplayer slept with me who didn't have the best year of his career. Making love is like hitting a baseball -- you just got to relax and concentrate. Besides, I'd never sleep with a player hitting under .250 unless he had a lot of R.B.I.'s or was a great glove man up the middle. 
 
A woman's got to have standards.


It's a very funny monologue by a great comedienne - but it's also straightly honest as said. The movie is saying "baseball = religion", and also "baseball = sex" (the latter of which they make MANY jokes throughout the movie. "He fucks like he pitches. Fast, and all over the place.") Which would transitively imply that "sex = religion" which... checks out, anthropologically.

And how absurd is it to say that baseball is America's religion? It certainly is considered "the American sport", more than football or basketball even if those have surpassed it monetarily.

The title of the movie - which is the name of the featured team, the Durham Bulls - is a reference to the majestic beast sacrificed in pagan rituals. As this is a minor league team, the major league is talked about only in hushed reverence as "the Show" where someone carries your luggage and all the hotels have room service. It is another plane of existence that the fortunate and brave are ascended to. "The stadiums are cathedrals."

One of the repeating tropes is the superstitions of the players, and how they are treated dead seriously no matter how silly they are. In a moment of serious, explaining why its understandable that a pitcher won't sleep with his girlfriend so long as he's on a winning streak, Costner says:


And he's right! A ballplayer on a streak has to respect the streak. They don't happen very often. You know how hard this game is? If you believe you're playing well because you're getting laid or because you're not getting laid or because you wore red silk panties -- then you are!


Which is to say, you believe for belief's sake, and that makes it real.


It's also pagan in the sense that the different religions are all possible and don't necessarily exclude the truth of others, and it includes the more pagan side of Christianity. The "young priestess" figure who "sleeps with half the team" goes out with the devoutly Christian player and within 5 hours of talking to him about the Bible, she agrees to marry him. Everyone is happy for her, and as she tries on her wedding dress with Sarandon asks "do you think I deserve to wear white?" "Everyone deserves to wear white." It's a tender, universalist moment out of a cultural superstition about purity. She may have engaged in ritual sexual congress with the players, but she is still fundamentally *innocent* in this rite.


The meat of the matter though, is from the central parable of the story.


Sarandon is a team-groupie who picks one baseball player to bed for the season, and has more knowledge about baseball and player technique in her pinkie than anyone else on the team or their manager. She is a goddess figure. From Robert Graves:


The tribal Nymph, it seems, chose an annual lover from her entourage of young men, a king to be sacrificed when the year ended; making him a symbol of fertility, rather than the object of her erotic pleasure.


This particular year, two men catch her eye. One is the hot-shot new pitcher played by Tim Robbins. And the other is an over-the-hill catcher hired more to teach Robbins the ropes than for his own skill (Costner.) Costner is wise in baseball and has seen a lot, but he knows he is nearly finished and will in all likelihood be let go at the end of his 1 year contract.


The movie does a genuine job of making this a romantic triad. Each pair of those three have their own fleshed out dynamic with complex developments, AND they always reference the third person as something that defines their relationship. (Sarandon even invites both of them to her boudoir together, just to see how it plays out.)


But it's not a maiden/hero/monster triad, though you can make that work if you squint. No it's much more directly a second type of romantic triad. More from Graves:


Next, in amendment to this practice, the king died as soon as the power of the sun, with which he was identified, began to decline in the summer; and another young man, his twin, or supposed twin – a convenient ancient Irish term is ‘tanist’ – then became the Queen’s lover, to be duly sacrificed at midwinter and, as a reward, reincarnated in an oracular serpent.


As @baroquespiral says:






There is a bit of an inversion here, where the Goddess Sarandon *starts off* sleeping with the young stud, but then after he ascends to "the Show" she switches to the old and wizened man. But he too is sacrificed like a bull, with the team laying him off after he is no longer valuable.


Monday, January 1, 2024

2023 Year in Review

 This year I wrote two LARPs, went on more than a few road trips, started Lexapro, went to one con, and otherwise did not accomplish a lot that can be measured, except for watching a truly absurd number of movies. Fortunately Letterboxd makes it a lot easier to record that.

By my count, I watched 464 movies this year. This does not count rewatches. When this counts television, it is only for an entire series counting as one movie. Many of the movies - basically anything 1.5 stars or less - I did not finish because they weren’t worth my time.


The Viewing - 2022 - 4.5 stars
Moonage Daydream - 2022 - 3 stars
White Noise - 2022 - 3 stars
TÁR - 2022 - 4 stars
The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected) - 2017 - 3 stars
Triangle of Sadness - 2022 - 3 stars
Bad Lieutenant - 1992 - 3.5 stars
Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call – New Orleans - 2009 - 3.5 stars
Bridge of Spies - 2015 - 2.5 stars
The Man Who Wasn't There - 2001 - 3 stars
Twixt - 2011 - 1 stars
Love - 2015 - 1.5 stars
Assassination of a High School President - 2008 - 1 stars
Pearl - 2022 - 3 stars
Maniac - 2012 - 2 stars
Hard to Be a God - 2013 - 1 stars
8MM - 1999 - 4 stars
Logan Lucky - 2017 - 3 stars
Confess, Fletch - 2022 - 1 stars
After Yang - 2021 - 2.5 stars
The Disaster Artist - 2017 - 3 stars
C'mon C'mon - 2021 - 1.5 stars
The Trust - 2016 - 4 stars
The Golden Child - 1986 - 2 stars
Bernie - 2011 - 3.5 stars
Kill the Irishman - 2011 - 1 stars
Black Adam - 2022 - 2 stars
Bodies Bodies Bodies - 2022 - 2.5 stars
Blood Simple - 1984 - 2 stars
Central Station - 1998 - 1.5 stars
Communion - 1989 - 1 stars
Border - 2018 - 3 stars
All These Sleepless Nights - 2016 - 1 stars
Possessor - 2020 - 4 stars
House of Tolerance - 2011 - 2.5 stars
The Inauguration of the Pleasure Dome - 1954 - 3 stars
Silence - 2016 - 3 stars
2046 - 2004 - 2 stars
Caché - 2005 - 1 stars
Me and Earl and the Dying Girl - 2015 - 4 stars
Vox Lux - 2018 - 4.5 stars
The Beach Bum - 2019 - 3 stars
Mute - 2018 - 3 stars
The Beta Test - 2021 - 3 stars
The Godfather: Part III - 1990 - 2.5 stars
Mindhorn - 2016 - 3.5 stars
Elvis - 2022 - 3 stars
To Leslie - 2022 - 2.5 stars
Nancy - 2018 - 3.5 stars
Honk for Jesus. Save Your Soul. - 2022 - 3.5 stars
The Fall - 2019 - 3 stars
The Stylist - 2020 - 3.5 stars
Mass - 2021 - 4.5 stars
Valley of the Gods - 2019 - 3 stars
Tau - 2018 - 2 stars
Kate - 2021 - 3 stars
Compliance - 2012 - 3.5 stars
A Ghost Waits - 2020 - 3.5 stars
Still Processing - 2020 - 3.5 stars
Okja - 2017 - 4 stars
Please Speak Continuously and Describe Your Experiences as They Come to You - 2019 - 4.5 stars
Copenhagen Cowboy - 2022 - 4.5 stars
Warriors of Future - 2022 - 1.5 stars
Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio - 2022 - 3 stars
Lost in London - 2017 - 3 stars
Duck Butter - 2018 - 3 stars
Sherman's March - 1985 - 4 stars
Scanners - 1981 - 3 stars
Too Old to Die Young - 2019 - 4 stars
Let the Corpses Tan - 2017 - 2.5 stars
Life as a House - 2001 - 3.5 stars
The Wailing - 2016 - 4 stars
Bronson - 2008 - 3 stars
The Painted Lady - 2012 - 4 stars
Only God Forgives - 2013 - 4.5 stars
Pusher - 1996 - 2.5 stars
The Final Girls - 2015 - 4 stars
Bottom of the World - 2017 - 4.5 stars
Moonrise Kingdom - 2012 - 4 stars
Bottle Rocket - 1996 - 3 stars
The Fabelmans - 2022 - 2 stars
All Quiet on the Western Front - 2022 - 3 stars
Foxfur - 2012 - 2 stars
1408 - 2007 - 4 stars
The Damned United - 2009 - 4 stars
Empire of Light - 2022 - 3 stars
Encounter - 2021 - 3.5 stars
Everything Is Illuminated - 2005 - 4 stars
The Encounter - 2010 - 1 stars
The Ritual - 2017 - 3 stars
Valhalla Rising - 2009 - 2.5 stars
Fast Color - 2018 - 3 stars
Kumaré - 2012 - 2.5 stars
The Slammin' Salmon - 2009 - 3 stars
Deep Murder - 2018 - 3 stars
The Invitation - 2022 - 2 stars
Antiviral - 2012 - 4 stars
Jodorowsky's Dune - 2013 - 3 stars
Dark Star - 1974 - 1.5 stars
Pooling to Paradise - 2021 - 3 stars
Bones and All - 2022 - 3 stars
Woodshock - 2017 - 3 stars
Holy Motors - 2012 - 5 stars
We Are Little Zombies - 2019 - 1.5 stars
The Outwaters - 2022 - 2 stars
Incantation - 2022 - 4 stars
We Are Boats - 2018 - 1 stars
The Whale - 2022 - 3.5 stars
Pleasure - 2021 - 4 stars
Margaux - 2022 - 1 stars
Advantageous - 2015 - 1 stars
Puss in Boots: The Last Wish - 2022 - 3 stars
The Pale Blue Eye - 2022 - 4 stars
Infinity Pool - 2023 - 4.5 stars
Nymphomaniac: Vol. II - 2013 - 3 stars
Victoria - 2015 - 1 stars
Horatio's Drive: America's First Road Trip - 2003 - 3.5 stars
The Survivalist - 2015 - 3 stars
Memory 2.0 - 2014 - 2.5 stars
The Living Wake - 2007 - 1 stars
Shirkers - 2018 - 4 stars
Next - 2007 - 2 stars
Into the Wild - 2007 - 3.5 stars
In the Hero - 2014 - 4 stars
A Cure for Wellness - 2016 - 3.5 stars
The Ruins - 2008 - 2.5 stars
Fresh - 2022 - 3 stars
A Cry in the Wild - 1990 - 2 stars
Toad Road - 2012 - 3 stars
In the Tall Grass - 2019 - 1 stars
The Kitchen - 2012 - 1 stars
Pink Hill - 2019 - 1 stars
Strawberry Mansion - 2021 - 3 stars
Chronic - 2015 - 1 stars
Martyrs - 2008 - 3.5 stars
Fantasia - 1940 - 3 stars
Deep Water - 2022 - 1 stars
Modern Whore - 2020 - 3.5 stars
Maniac - 2018 - 2.5 stars
Lucky - 2017 - 1 stars
Love, Death & Robots: The Witness - 2019 - 3.5 stars
Filth - 2013 - 1 stars
Amer - 2009 - 3.5 stars
Dreams - 1990 - 3 stars
Imprint - 2006 - 4 stars
Timelapse of the Future: A Journey to the End of Time - 2019 - 3.5 stars
Last and First Men - 2020 - 3 stars
Lake Mungo - 2008 - 2 stars
Killer Joe - 2011 - 4 stars
Antebellum - 2020 - 5 stars
The Nightmare - 2015 - 3 stars
The Nightmare - 2015 - 1.5 stars
The Strange Color of Your Body's Tears - 2013 - 2 stars
The Innocents - 2021 - 3 stars
Knife+Heart - 2018 - 1 stars
Eden Lake - 2008 - 1 stars
Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom - 1975 - 1.5 stars
13 Assassins - 2010 - 2.5 stars
Videodrome - 1983 - 3.5 stars
A Pigeon Sat on a Branch Reflecting on Existence - 2014 - 1 stars
Kajillionaire - 2020 - 1 stars
The Laughing Woman - 1969 - 3 stars
Sword of Desperation - 2010 - 3.5 stars
Jumbo - 2020 - 1.5 stars
She Dies Tomorrow - 2020 - 3 stars
Belladonna of Sadness - 1973 - 2 stars
Natural Born Killers - 1994 - 3 stars
Lars and the Real Girl - 2007 - 3 stars
Orlando - 1992 - 3 stars
Szamanka - 1996 - 3 stars
I, Tonya - 2017 - 3 stars
Gone Girl - 2014 - 3 stars
Fright Night - 2011 - 3 stars
A Field in England - 2013 - 2 stars
Timecrimes - 2007 - 2.5 stars
Crazy Samurai Musashi - 2020 - 2 stars
Suzume - 2022 - 3.5 stars
John Mulaney: Baby J - 2023 - 3 stars
John Mulaney & The Sack Lunch Bunch - 2019 - 1.5 stars
BEEF - 2023 - 1.5 stars
Night Is Short, Walk on Girl - 2017 - 3 stars
Patrick Melrose - 2018 - 3 stars
The Duke of Burgundy - 2014 - 3 stars
Thelma - 2017 - 3.5 stars
After Hours - 1985 - 3 stars
The Rusted - 2015 - 3 stars
Inside Man - 2006 - 2 stars
The Lair of the White Worm - 1988 - 2 stars
American Animals - 2018 - 3.5 stars
Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves - 2023 - 3 stars
Babylon - 2022 - 3 stars
Unstoppable - 2010 - 2.5 stars
Hurlyburly - 1998 - 1.5 stars
Venus in Fur - 2013 - 3 stars
I'm a Virgo - 2023 - 4.5 stars
Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse - 2023 - 4.5 stars
Lux Æterna - 2019 - 3.5 stars
M3GAN - 2022 - 1.5 stars
Asteroid City - 2023 - 4 stars
I Am the Pretty Thing That Lives in the House - 2016 - 2 stars
Barbie - 2023 - 4.5 stars
Oppenheimer - 2023 - 4.5 stars
Like Me - 2017 - 4 stars
Megan Is Missing - 2011 - 4 stars
Selfie from Hell - 2018 - 2 stars
Cutter's Way - 1981 - 3 stars
Marrowbone - 2017 - 3 stars
Polite Society - 2023 - 4 stars
Carmen - 2022 - 4 stars
Splice - 2009 - 3.5 stars
Exiled - 2006 - 4 stars
Cam - 2018 - 4 stars
Pulse - 2001 - 3 stars
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo - 2011 - 3 stars
Sunset Boulevard - 1950 - 3 stars
Bug - 2006 - 4 stars
The Signal - 2007 - 3 stars
Thunder Road - 2018 - 1.5 stars
A Scanner Darkly - 2006 - 3 stars
Ratter - 2015 - 3 stars
The Cremator - 1969 - 2 stars
The Forbidden Room - 2015 - 1.5 stars
Joy Ride - 2023 - 3 stars
Barry Lyndon - 1975 - 4.5 stars
Easy Rider - 1969 - 3.5 stars
Hard Candy - 2005 - 1.5 stars
The Last King of Scotland - 2006 - 2 stars
Gotham - 1988 - 3 stars
Some Kind of Heaven - 2020 - 3 stars
Consecration - 2023 - 3 stars
Broadcast Signal Intrusion - 2021 - 4.5 stars
Before the Devil Knows You're Dead - 2007 - 3.5 stars
The Gathering - 2001 - 2.5 stars
Medusa Deluxe - 2022 - 3.5 stars
Run Rabbit Run - 2023 - 3.5 stars
No One Will Save You - 2023 - 3.5 stars
The Venture Bros.: Radiant Is the Blood of the Baboon Heart - 2023 - 3.5 stars
A Haunting in Venice - 2023 - 3 stars
Medusa - 2020 - 3.5 stars
Black Medusa - 2021 - 3.5 stars
A Tale of Two Sisters - 2003 - 3 stars
Medusa's Venom - 2023 - 3 stars
Perfume: The Story of a Murderer - 2006 - 2.5 stars
Ms .45 - 1981 - 3.5 stars
Shiva Baby - 2020 - 2.5 stars
Margin Call - 2011 - 4 stars
Unfriended: Dark Web - 2018 - 2.5 stars
The Rapture - 1991 - 4 stars
Demonic - 2021 - 2 stars
The Wolf of Wall Street - 2013 - 2 stars
Take Shelter - 2011 - 2 stars
The Fourth Kind - 2009 - 2.5 stars
Don Jon - 2013 - 4 stars
Deerskin - 2019 - 2 stars
In a World... - 2013 - 3 stars
Let the Right One In - 2008 - 3 stars
Sling Blade - 1996 - 4 stars
Monster's Ball - 2001 - 4 stars
Paranormal Activity - 2007 - 3 stars
The Gift - 2015 - 3 stars
2 Days in New York - 2012 - 1 stars
Glasshouse - 2021 - 3.5 stars
The Countess - 2009 - 2 stars
Have a Good Trip: Adventures in Psychedelics - 2020 - 1.5 stars
The Devil All the Time - 2020 - 2 stars
The Vietnam War - 2017 - 3.5 stars
Stop Making Sense - 1984 - 2.5 stars
Look Away - 2018 - 3 stars
The City and the City - 2018 - 2.5 stars
11.22.63 - 2016 - 2 stars
Nathan for You: Finding Frances - 2017 - 3.5 stars
They Cloned Tyrone - 2023 - 4.5 stars
The Ninth Configuration - 1980 - 1 stars
Deep Rising - 1998 - 2 stars
Mud - 2012 - 4 stars
The Borderlands - 2013 - 2 stars
After Blue - 2021 - 2.5 stars
Ghostbusters: Afterlife - 2021 - 3 stars
Prisoners - 2013 - 3.5 stars
Zodiac - 2007 - 3 stars
The Girl with All the Gifts - 2016 - 3 stars
Rabbit-Proof Fence - 2002 - 3.5 stars
The Fall of the House of Usher - 2023 - 4.5 stars
The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar - 2023 - 4 stars
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 - 2023 - 3.5 stars
Poison - 2023 - 3 stars
The Rat Catcher - 2023 - 2.5 stars
The Swan - 2023 - 2.5 stars
Knock at the Cabin - 2023 - 3 stars
The Wait - 2013 - 2 stars
Reptile - 2023 - 1 stars
Ping Pong the Animation - 2014 - 4 stars
Revenge - 2017 - 4 stars
Searching - 2018 - 1.5 stars
Undergods - 2020 - 3.5 stars
Enemy - 2013 - 3.5 stars
The Lego Movie - 2014 - 3 stars
Man of Steel - 2013 - 3.5 stars
Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle - 2017 - 3.5 stars
Bound - 1996 - 3 stars
Braid - 2018 - 4.5 stars
The Ghoul - 2016 - 2.5 stars
The House of the Devil - 2009 - 2.5 stars
The Dark Tapes - 2016 - 3 stars
The English - 2022 - 3 stars
Pontypool - 2008 - 3 stars
Antrum - 2018 - 3 stars
The Myth of the American Sleepover - 2010 - 4 stars
The Innkeepers - 2011 - 2 stars
Dallas Buyers Club - 2013 - 4 stars
Green Room - 2015 - 4 stars
Sinister - 2012 - 3 stars
Jacob's Ladder - 1990 - 3 stars
Free Samples - 2012 - 4 stars
Teeth - 2007 - 3 stars
A Time to Kill - 1996 - 3 stars
Two for the Money - 2005 - 3 stars
Source Code - 2011 - 3 stars
A Quiet Place - 2018 - 3 stars
The Royal Hotel - 2023 - 2.5 stars
Naked Singularity - 2021 - 3 stars
Don't Breathe - 2016 - 2.5 stars
Troy - 2004 - 2.5 stars
Morgan - 2016 - 2 stars
The Autopsy of Jane Doe - 2016 - 3 stars
Lot 36 - 2022 - 4 stars
Coraline - 2009 - 2 stars
Listen Up Philip - 2014 - 1 stars
The Book of Henry - 2017 - 2 stars
Talk to Me - 2022 - 3.5 stars
House - 1977 - 3 stars
The Night House - 2020 - 3.5 stars
The Killer - 2023 - 3 stars
Chained for Life - 2018 - 3 stars
Most Beautiful Island - 2017 - 3.5 stars
Dumplings - 2004 - 2 stars
The Burial - 2023 - 2.5 stars
The Social Network - 2010 - 3 stars
The Last Black Man in San Francisco - 2019 - 3 stars
Hidden - 2015 - 3 stars
Red Eye - 2005 - 2 stars
In the Cut - 2003 - 3 stars
Steve Jobs - 2015 - 4 stars
Frailty - 2001 - 3 stars
The Mandela Effect - 2019 - 2 stars
Them - 2021 - 2 stars
Tone-Deaf - 2019 - 3 stars
The Fall - 2006 - 4 stars
Excision - 2012 - 4 stars
American Mary - 2012 - 3.5 stars
My house walk-through - 2016 - 3.5 stars
Swing Girls - 2004 - 3 stars
No Hard Feelings - 2023 - 3 stars
Medusa - 2021 - 4.5 stars
Sin City: A Dame to Kill For - 2014 - 3 stars
Stargate: The Ark of Truth - 2008 - 2.5 stars
Star Trek: Nemesis - 2002 - 2 stars
The Number 23 - 2007 - 2 stars
Emma. - 2020 - 4.5 stars
Cremaster 3 - 2002 - 3 stars
Synchronicity - 2015 - 1 stars
The Brotherhood of Satan - 1971 - 2 stars
Mr. Nobody - 2009 - 1 stars
Inside - 2023 - 2 stars
Terminal - 2018 - 1 stars
Franklyn - 2008 - 1 stars
Mauvais Sang - 1986 - 1 stars
Jennifer's Body - 2009 - 4 stars
The White Room - 1989 - 2 stars
Cosmos - 2019 - 1 stars
Hard Eight - 1996 - 2 stars
Hotel - 2001 - 1 stars
The Lathe of Heaven - 1980 - 1 stars
Lost River - 2014 - 4.5 stars
Passage - 2009 - 3 stars
Spring Breakers - 2012 - 4 stars
Nightbreed - 1990 - 3.5 stars
Hell House LLC III: Lake of Fire - 2019 - 2.5 stars
Tell Me Who I Am - 2019 - 3 stars
Vortex - 2021 - 2 stars
His House - 2020 - 3 stars
The Strangers - 2008 - 2.5 stars
The Wonder - 2022 - 3 stars
The Heroic Trio - 1993 - 3.5 stars
Happy as Lazzaro - 2018 - 3 stars
The Last Unicorn - 1982 - 2.5 stars
Under the Shadow - 2016 - 2.5 stars
A Monster Calls - 2016 - 3.5 stars
A.I. Artificial Intelligence - 2001 - 2 stars
Re/Member - 2022 - 4 stars
Class Action Park - 2020 - 3 stars
The Beguiled - 2017 - 4 stars
Burning - 2018 - 4 stars
The House - 2022 - 2.5 stars
Superman II - 1980 - 3.5 stars
Rush - 2013 - 4 stars
Blackhat - 2015 - 2 stars
He Never Died - 2015 - 1.5 stars
6 Underground - 2019 - 1 stars
Hellhole - 2022 - 3 stars
Superbad - 2007 - 3 stars
Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams - 2002 - 1 stars
Sunshine - 2007 - 2.5 stars
Scarface - 1983 - 4.5 stars
Gerald's Game - 2017 - 3 stars
The Bridge Curse - 2020 - 2 stars
Minari - 2020 - 1 stars
Lady Bird - 2017 - 2 stars
The Great Beauty - 2013 - 1 stars
John Dies at the End - 2012 - 2.5 stars
The Tree of Life - 2011 - 2 stars
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom - 1984 - 2 stars
The Double - 2013 - 1 stars
Snake Eyes - 1998 - 4 stars
In the Mood for Love - 2000 - 4 stars
Stigma - 1977 - 3 stars
Black Widow - 2021 - 2.5 stars
House of Flying Daggers - 2004 - 4 stars
The Virgin Suicides - 1999 - 3.5 stars
The Square - 2017 - 2.5 stars
Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping - 2016 - 2.5 stars
Black Orpheus - 1959 - 1 stars
Bad Santa - 2003 - 1 stars
Chernobyl Diaries - 2012 - 2 stars
My Neighbor Totoro - 1988 - 3 stars
Tombstone - 1993 - 2.5 stars
Fire of Love - 2022 - 3.5 stars
BLUE EYE SAMURAI - 2023 - 1.5 stars
Poor Things - 2023 - 4.5 stars
Love Has Won: The Cult of Mother God - 2023 - 4 stars
Godzilla Minus One - 2023 - 3.5 stars
The Dropout - 2022 - 3 stars
Misery - 1990 - 2 stars
The Incredible Burt Wonderstone - 2013 - 2 stars
PVT Chat - 2020 - 1 stars
The Last Emperor - 1987 - 3.5 stars
Moonlight - 2016 - 3.5 stars
Sanctuary - 2022 - 3 stars
God's Time - 2022 - 2.5 stars
She Will - 2021 - 4.5 stars
See How They Run - 2022 - 3 stars
Breaking the Waves - 1996 - 2 stars
The Woman in Black - 2012 - 1 stars
The Gambler - 2014 - 1 stars
Minor Premise - 2020 - 1.5 stars
The Man Who Killed Hitler and Then the Bigfoot - 2018 - 2 stars
Gaia - 2021 - 3 stars
Upgrade - 2018 - 1 stars
The Mill - 2023 - 2 stars
12 Hour Shift - 2020 - 3.5 stars
Ready or Not - 2019 - 3 stars
The Lost World: Jurassic Park - 1997 - 3.5 stars
Something in the Dirt - 2022 - 3 stars
The Deep End - 2022 - 3 stars
Alita: Battle Angel - 2019 - 1 stars
The Sacrament - 2013 - 2.5 stars
From Here to Eternity - 1953 - 2 stars
The French Connection - 1971 - 1.5 stars
Ordinary People - 1980 - 1 stars
Platoon - 1986 - 3 stars
The Player - 1992 - 4 stars
Saltburn - 2023 - 4.5 stars
Red Cliff - 2008 - 3.5 stars
Stolen Youth: Inside the Cult at Sarah Lawrence - 2023 - 3 stars
The Beyond - 1981 - 2 stars


I would say none of the movies I watched this year were truly great, S-tier movies, compared to last year which had two (EEAAO, and Vengeance.) However, I found this year had a good variety of movies at the A-tier below that (some of which I still need to see.)

But this makes choosing “the best” difficult. Instead I will hand out awards:

  • The “Hold a Gun to my Head and Threaten Cronenberg Style Violence on Me to Pick 2023’s Best” Award goes to Infinity Pool, by Brendan Cronenberg.
  • The Studio Ghibli Award for “I Meant to See This but my Theater Stopped Showing It” Award goes to How Do You Live AKA the Boy and the Heron.
  • The “I Can’t Believe Three Contenders for Best Movie of the Year Were All Released on the Same Day” award goes to Oppenheimer, Barbie, and They Cloned Tyrone.
  • The “Dogtooth” Award for Yorgos Lanthimos Sure Does Like Fucked Up Sexuality goes to Poor Things. Also a recipient of the “Cruella award for Damn Emma Stone is Fine” Award.
  • The Don Glover Award for “Black Made Movie that Manages to Hugely Offend the Identity-Left” goes to Antebellum.
  • The Most French Award goes to Holy Motors.
  • The First And Only Time Directing Awards are split. The “I Really Want to Be Nicholas Refn and Everyone Hated It” Award goes to Lost River by Ryan Gosling. The “If You All Liked It So Much Why Hasn’t Anyone Hired Me to Make Another Movie” Award goes to Emma. 2020 by Autumn de Wilde. (Though Don Jon by JGL is a runner up.)
  • The Alice Krige “Borg Queen, Controlling Mother of a Cult Leader, Vengeful Hollywood Witch - What Can’t She do?” Award goes to She Will
  • The Brit Marling “Creates a Cult Following Also a Cult” Award goes to Broadcast Signal Intrusion, by Jacob Gentry.
  • And finally, the Zack Snyder “Everyone Hates This but C’mon It is Clearly Amazing Camp” Award goes to Saltburn, by Emerald Fenell.