Given how many good movies from 2025 there are to see, I'm behind on the Marvel slop and only got around to watching Fantastic Four - First Steps today. (Okay I found out it had Jennifer Garner and I was very impressed with her in Weapons. Plus Natasha Lyonne and Ralph Ineson's voice[1].)
Seriously, if you want some edifying movies to watch, check out my catching up on 2025 list. But for the masochists, we soldier on.
Even with my lowered expectations, I was disappointed. But to my surprise, I was also delighted.
Competition is stiff, but after much reflection I am confident that this is the worst written script of any MCU movie. The comedy is very broad, the plot is paint by numbers and each step spelled directly out by the characters several times, and the emotions are always told instead of shown. I can see where the comic lines are trying to go, but they fall far short. Which gives us the worst line of the film:
"I don't tell you how to pilot, you don't tell me how to kill sexy aliens," by the bad boy Johnny Storm. Or explaining Archimedes lever to "three of the most brilliant scientists in the world" three times.
(The exceptions are the Silver Surfer and Mole-Man. Jennifer Garner and Paul Walter Hauser[2] get lines suited to the tragedy or comedy of the story respectively, and deliver them like actual Hollywood actors, with nuance and inner thoughts unsaid.)
The scene-changing twists - Silver Surfer rescue and baby Jesus - are *painfully* telegraphed and cliche, making the drawn out processes before those moments equally boring and agonizing.
Maybe some will disagree with me. I only know I wanted to like this. Pedro Pascal can make bad Disney writing leap off the page. The central theme of the plot - Galactus is tired of living and wants to pass his curse on - has a lot of potential. And I don't like being annoyed, but the dialogue of the movie is fighting me the whole way.
Normally, I'd have dropped out of this movie by the first 30 minutes. But just as I could not ignore the painful dialogue, I can't deny my eyes:
This is the best looking movie Marvel has given us.
Seriously, the cinematography is gorgeous. Look at any scene - there's excellent color matching, the blocking is dynamic enough to keep your attention, there's always something going on the screen. There are some amazing "money shots" like these:
You just know they were planning on this shot from day 1.
Making Galactus - a giant humanoid who also eats planets - into not a joke in a live action movie is very hard. And... well they did their best with ugly machine-factory style planet eater ship, reminiscent of Man of Steel and Omnicron. Nothing could be helped for the bad boy and his purple helmet itself though.
I love how much of the setting is simply shown from the fashion the people are wearing - you don't need technology benchmarks or exposition about the Cold War and the Beatles. Real attention was paid to every extra's outfit.
I couldn't find any shot where I felt it was just "point the camera at the plot." It makes me wish the movie had been silent. (Sadly the score did not add a whole lot either, which I only note because I was spoiled by One Battle After Another and No Other Choice.)
But there is one omnipresent visual technique that had me nodding in approval and cackling with laughter. But let me use an example from a beloved movie we know well:
