Quasi Migration

What did I do today, you ask? Well I moved all my movie reviews from various discords and blogs to Letterboxd finally, since that is a better place for them. If you want to read my more shortform movie thoughts and recommendations - or you're just really bored - you can keep track back here.

https://letterboxd.com/bambamramfan/films/reviews/

My rating system is:

1 star = didn't finish 2 star = mediocre marvel movie 3 star = actually good 4 star = i would recommend 5 star = one of my favs of all time

Double Feature: Killers of the Flower Moon and Antebellum

One of the things I enjoy on this blog is comparing two disparate movies to discuss their similar themes. I've decided to make this a regular feature, and I should clearly start with the Oscar nominated movies. So we have one movie praised as a the culmination of a legendary director's career, and one by a first (and only) time director with a 31% at Rotten Tomatoes. One movie I felt mediocre on, and one that is my secret fave that no one else has seen. One claims to be a historical retelling, the other is a very far fetched fantasy - though probably both are equally believable.

As always, this review will bare all spoilers. One of which has no spoilers, and the other of which whose entire plot is a spoiler.

What do these two have in common that compels me so?

1. Whatever else you think of them, they have astounding levels of craftsmanship. 

Martin Scorsese CAN in fact take a 3.5 hour tale of an Oklahoma community and make it a tense thriller that is enjoyable to watch. Leo DiCaprio and Robert DeNiro are still at the top of their game, and in particular DeNiro has made "kindly grampa who also orchestrates killing" into what will be a beloved trope. But neither of them touch on fucking first timer Lily Gladstone playing a cypher who is a clever, jaded Native American woman but falls into a trap of love anyway, and can always feel the jaws of death slowly clenching around her community. She absolutely deserves that Oscar.

Whereas Antebellum asks Janelle Monae to carry an entire movie on her back, which she absolutely can. And Jena Malone picks up the slack for the villainous side of things. The production design is so rich and luscious, especially in highlighting evil. The scene transitions between the different settings are creative and great. And everyone who watches this movie HAS to make mention of the opening 5 minute shot that takes us through all the parts of a slave planation.

These are both quality films that are fun to watch and demonstrate real beauty.

2. Both wrestle head on with the historical injustices of racism. And did so in a way that got them a ton of controversy.

This is a rough one. It is clear both movies wanted to tell stories they thought were undertold, of how generations past have suffered and how that still resonates to the present day. It goes without saying that the "anti-woke" part of society (ie. people who have never even consumed some media because someone told them it was social justicey) would avoid these movies.

But the "woke" condemn them too for "white people telling other people's stories" and the awkwardness that entails, and for "exploiting pain and violence of a minority" which becomes the only way that minority is seen. Having seen both movies, I understand where these points are coming from. I don't find these problems ring so loud as to ruin the entire work for me.

I honestly think KotFM suffers more for this. But really because I always have this problem from Scorsese that I can't tell what story he is trying to tell. All of Scorsese's criminal epics have this problem: there isn't an arc so much as a flat line. 

"A normal white man is not in any way distinct, just wants to get ahead and make money. He drifts without much agency into making some money illegally, and it works fine because no one in authority cares. He has wild success and lives it up outrageously. Then... some people in authority suddenly do care. And because our criminal was a) an untalented idiot and b) didn't think anyone cared, their crimes are very easily untangled and exposed. Then they get sent to jail, but are unrepentant. In fact the psychology of the central character has never changed the entire time: they were a brute who got lucky until they were a brute who got unlucky."

What are we supposed to take from this? Is our criminal a unique specimen, driven to his misdeeds by special circumstance or tragic upbringing? No, no, the director insists he has no excuse. Ah, so is our criminal the everyman, and any of us could be like him if the dice had rolled differently? No, no, he is specially evil and deserves our spit.

In KotFM this applies to the whole town. The Hale family were killing dozens of Osage members because no one (with authority) cared, so they could get away with it. They would walk up to any homeless man on the street they had never met before and ask "Say, will you kill my sister in law for me?" The hired thugs were always cowards and idiots, so they'd be caught the second any real law enforcement turned up, and they'd flip on the people who hired them.

In fact, that becomes the most confusing part of the story. Some white people think the Native American life has no value, and will conspire about killing them and covering it up without a second thought. But other white people think this is a terrible crime, and will be unrelenting in pursuing it. And there is incredibly little difference shown between these people. The hardest part of this movie is keeping track of "is this white man one of the killers, or someone trying to stop the killers?" Who could tell the difference between Ernest's brother (bad) and brother-in-law (good)?

You could say "not being able to tell this is what makes being a person of color so scary" and touche, but this particular telling feels like more of a cop out than that. It wants to present both "white people are so casually evil..." and "... that other white people feel they have to stop them."

(This is made very explicit in the most comedic scene, where one white man is asking a lawyer on the legality of adopting two half-Indian children, becoming their next of kin, and then killing them to get the money. The lawyer is appalled and the criminal can't understand. But the directing bypasses the implication that the lawyer WAS a part of a healthy society that does not approve of the murder of children.)

Neither movie satisfies either the woke or anti-woke, and as such most ideologically-driven people in the ever churning culture wars won't end up watching it. Which really is a pity.

3. They are at heart stories of class envy.

The thing that struck me most about these tales of racism is how much they are about class. Both movies feature rich, or at least respectable and successful, minorities and show how much white people seethe at this wealth as unjust. They are not universalist movies about how "no person deserves oppression, every person has dignity" but are demands to "see that these people are rich and high-status, regardless of the color of their skin.

This is not to say anything in either movie DOES say you should degrade poor people. It's just they find it more important to say "how can you degrade this person? They're rich damnit!" (And all good imperial colonizers know, the way to control a population is to get their leaders more concerned with their own elite status than with solidarity with their own poor.)

My favorite part of Antebellum is dead in the middle, a classic Mike Yanagita scene that leaves you wondering what the point of that was. Janelle Monae, her black lady friend and her white lady friend, go out to a fancy restaurant. At some point a man sends them over a drink, and her black friend sends it back because it is too low class and "we are champagne ladies." Eventually they leave and take separate Ubers. Nothing else of note happens.

For one thing, it is deliciously tense. At this point we know Monae will be kidnapped, and we're waiting to see how. So every moment is filled with a little dread and anticipation as we wonder "is this how they get her?" And all three actresses are quite good at such comedic dialogue. Fun times.

But what really makes the scene fit with the movie is all the class security. They are trying to insist so hard to the world that "we are high status, even if we are Black!" (As part of the scene, the two Black friends comment that the hotel staff is brusque and rude to them. The white friend says she didn't notice anything rude. The two Black friends share A Look. No mention is made of how hotel staff would treat people who can't afford their fancy rooms.)

An editorial note to be clear: these characters are not wrong. Treating someone who is rich (or well educated, or talented) like they aren't just because of the color of their skin IS a form of racism. And if it happened to you, you'd be rightly furious. It's just also true that if we end the day just by treating rich Black people like rich white people, most forms of inequality will persist.

It's impossible to analyze these movies without being pulled to the dread specter of Tulsa. What caused the furious explosion of violence wasn't just racism, but racism mixed with "eat the rich" class envy. "You mean they drive fancy cars while cutting my wages, AND they're Black!!!!" Which is not to say "this is a righteous socialist act", but rather that "it will be very hard for a minority to get a foothold in the American power structure if we burn them down every time they get wealth like cutting tall poppies."

4. Both movies highlight the absurd denialism of a villain's fantasy.

This one is a bit of a stretch, but I could not resist.

One of the biggest controversies of KotFM has been the compartmentalized image of Ernest Burkhart. In the movie (and some historical tellings), he tenderly loved his wife while slaughtering her people. And I guess that sort of character, who learns the Osage language while raising his half-Osage children, but also participates in systemic oppression, could be an interesting contrast for a tragic character.

But for Ernest? Just no. He kills his wife's sisters. He poisons his wife too. Maybe that's a sort of love, but it's a creepy possessive love at the very most. These are not the actions of a tender or caring normal man. Which either means their marriage was pretty unhealthy, OR Ernest was several standard deviations from normality, which cuts against Scorsese's "we all are guilty" message. 

Whereas the brokenness of Antebellum's fantasy is its most interesting part.

The secret of the movie's setting is that white supremacist Civil War reenactors are kidnapping "uppity" black people (professors, famous artists) and imprisoning them on a fake plantation, basically to fill out their Antebellum LARP.

... the quick-witted among you will notice that you can't have confederate soldiers AND be "antebellum."

And the movie is full of this. The reenactors are rich and obsessed enough to get all the set design details for their little fantasy, but there are so many ways the fantasy can not be sustained. Soldiers keep their cell phones on them and they ring at inappropriate times. The Black prisoners keep mentioning their real life even though it carries a penalty of death. The slaves are kept at night in wooden sheds with open doors.

... which is very dumb, because any of the kidnapped victims if they run away, know there's towns and news crews just a few miles away if they can just get there. The reason chattel slaves of the 19th century didn't run away, was because there was just nowhere to go. To keep people nowadays, you'd have to build an actual modern day prison. But that would ruin the genteel fantasy.

It's warped to say all these anachronisms are the funniest part in a movie where men watch their wives burned to death. It is often a godawful experience. But the grisly inhumanity of it, that makes no sense even on its face, is kind of the point.

American Pagan: Bull Durham

Watched the classic 80's sports/sex comedy "Bull Durham" (with the fabulous talents of Kevin Costner, Susan Sarandon, and Tim Robbins) for the first time and I was gobsmacked at how openly and deeply pagan it was.

Look, here are the very first lines of the movie, in a voiceover by Sarandon.

I believe in the Church of Baseball. I've tried all the major religions and most of the minor ones -- I've worshipped Buddha, Allah, Brahma, Vishnu, Shiva, trees, mushrooms, and Isadora Duncan... I know things. For instance -- There are 108 beads in a Catholic rosary. And -- There are 108 stitches in a baseball. When I learned that, I gave Jesus a chance. But it just didn't work out between us. The Lord laid too much guilt on me. I prefer metaphysics to theology. You see, there's no guilt in baseball... and it's never boring. Which makes it like sex. There's never been a ballplayer slept with me who didn't have the best year of his career. Making love is like hitting a baseball -- you just got to relax and concentrate. Besides, I'd never sleep with a player hitting under .250 unless he had a lot of R.B.I.'s or was a great glove man up the middle. 

 

A woman's got to have standards.

It's a very funny monologue by a great comedienne - but it's also straightly honest as said. The movie is saying "baseball = religion", and also "baseball = sex" (the latter of which they make MANY jokes throughout the movie. "He fucks like he pitches. Fast, and all over the place.") Which would transitively imply that "sex = religion" which... checks out, anthropologically.

And how absurd is it to say that baseball is America's religion? It certainly is considered "the American sport", more than football or basketball even if those have surpassed it monetarily.

The title of the movie - which is the name of the featured team, the Durham Bulls - is a reference to the majestic beast sacrificed in pagan rituals. As this is a minor league team, the major league is talked about only in hushed reverence as "the Show" where someone carries your luggage and all the hotels have room service. It is another plane of existence that the fortunate and brave are ascended to. "The stadiums are cathedrals."

One of the repeating tropes is the superstitions of the players, and how they are treated dead seriously no matter how silly they are. In a moment of serious, explaining why its understandable that a pitcher won't sleep with his girlfriend so long as he's on a winning streak, Costner says:

And he's right! A ballplayer on a streak has to respect the streak. They don't happen very often. You know how hard this game is? If you believe you're playing well because you're getting laid or because you're not getting laid or because you wore red silk panties -- then you are!

Which is to say, you believe for belief's sake, and that makes it real.

It's also pagan in the sense that the different religions are all possible and don't necessarily exclude the truth of others, and it includes the more pagan side of Christianity. The "young priestess" figure who "sleeps with half the team" goes out with the devoutly Christian player and within 5 hours of talking to him about the Bible, she agrees to marry him. Everyone is happy for her, and as she tries on her wedding dress with Sarandon asks "do you think I deserve to wear white?" "Everyone deserves to wear white." It's a tender, universalist moment out of a cultural superstition about purity. She may have engaged in ritual sexual congress with the players, but she is still fundamentally *innocent* in this rite.

The meat of the matter though, is from the central parable of the story.

Sarandon is a team-groupie who picks one baseball player to bed for the season, and has more knowledge about baseball and player technique in her pinkie than anyone else on the team or their manager. She is a goddess figure. From Robert Graves:

The tribal Nymph, it seems, chose an annual lover from her entourage of young men, a king to be sacrificed when the year ended; making him a symbol of fertility, rather than the object of her erotic pleasure.

This particular year, two men catch her eye. One is the hot-shot new pitcher played by Tim Robbins. And the other is an over-the-hill catcher hired more to teach Robbins the ropes than for his own skill (Costner.) Costner is wise in baseball and has seen a lot, but he knows he is nearly finished and will in all likelihood be let go at the end of his 1 year contract.

The movie does a genuine job of making this a romantic triad. Each pair of those three have their own fleshed out dynamic with complex developments, AND they always reference the third person as something that defines their relationship. (Sarandon even invites both of them to her boudoir together, just to see how it plays out.)

But it's not a maiden/hero/monster triad, though you can make that work if you squint. No it's much more directly a second type of romantic triad. More from Graves:

Next, in amendment to this practice, the king died as soon as the power of the sun, with which he was identified, began to decline in the summer; and another young man, his twin, or supposed twin – a convenient ancient Irish term is ‘tanist’ – then became the Queen’s lover, to be duly sacrificed at midwinter and, as a reward, reincarnated in an oracular serpent.

As @baroquespiral says:

There is a bit of an inversion here, where the Goddess Sarandon *starts off* sleeping with the young stud, but then after he ascends to "the Show" she switches to the old and wizened man. But he too is sacrificed like a bull, with the team laying him off after he is no longer valuable.

2023 Year in Review

 This year I wrote two LARPs, went on more than a few road trips, started Lexapro, went to one con, and otherwise did not accomplish a lot that can be measured, except for watching a truly absurd number of movies. Fortunately Letterboxd makes it a lot easier to record that.

By my count, I watched 464 movies this year. This does not count rewatches. When this counts television, it is only for an entire series counting as one movie. Many of the movies - basically anything 1.5 stars or less - I did not finish because they weren’t worth my time.

The Viewing - 2022 - 4.5 stars

Moonage Daydream - 2022 - 3 stars

White Noise - 2022 - 3 stars

TÁR - 2022 - 4 stars

The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected) - 2017 - 3 stars

Triangle of Sadness - 2022 - 3 stars

Bad Lieutenant - 1992 - 3.5 stars

Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call – New Orleans - 2009 - 3.5 stars

Bridge of Spies - 2015 - 2.5 stars

The Man Who Wasn't There - 2001 - 3 stars

Twixt - 2011 - 1 stars

Love - 2015 - 1.5 stars

Assassination of a High School President - 2008 - 1 stars

Pearl - 2022 - 3 stars

Maniac - 2012 - 2 stars

Hard to Be a God - 2013 - 1 stars

8MM - 1999 - 4 stars

Logan Lucky - 2017 - 3 stars

Confess, Fletch - 2022 - 1 stars

After Yang - 2021 - 2.5 stars

The Disaster Artist - 2017 - 3 stars

C'mon C'mon - 2021 - 1.5 stars

The Trust - 2016 - 4 stars

The Golden Child - 1986 - 2 stars

Bernie - 2011 - 3.5 stars

Kill the Irishman - 2011 - 1 stars

Black Adam - 2022 - 2 stars

Bodies Bodies Bodies - 2022 - 2.5 stars

Blood Simple - 1984 - 2 stars

Central Station - 1998 - 1.5 stars

Communion - 1989 - 1 stars

Border - 2018 - 3 stars

All These Sleepless Nights - 2016 - 1 stars

Possessor - 2020 - 4 stars

House of Tolerance - 2011 - 2.5 stars

The Inauguration of the Pleasure Dome - 1954 - 3 stars

Silence - 2016 - 3 stars

2046 - 2004 - 2 stars

Caché - 2005 - 1 stars

Me and Earl and the Dying Girl - 2015 - 4 stars

Vox Lux - 2018 - 4.5 stars

The Beach Bum - 2019 - 3 stars

Mute - 2018 - 3 stars

The Beta Test - 2021 - 3 stars

The Godfather: Part III - 1990 - 2.5 stars

Mindhorn - 2016 - 3.5 stars

Elvis - 2022 - 3 stars

To Leslie - 2022 - 2.5 stars

Nancy - 2018 - 3.5 stars

Honk for Jesus. Save Your Soul. - 2022 - 3.5 stars

The Fall - 2019 - 3 stars

The Stylist - 2020 - 3.5 stars

Mass - 2021 - 4.5 stars

Valley of the Gods - 2019 - 3 stars

Tau - 2018 - 2 stars

Kate - 2021 - 3 stars

Compliance - 2012 - 3.5 stars

A Ghost Waits - 2020 - 3.5 stars

Still Processing - 2020 - 3.5 stars

Okja - 2017 - 4 stars

Please Speak Continuously and Describe Your Experiences as They Come to You - 2019 - 4.5 stars

Copenhagen Cowboy - 2022 - 4.5 stars

Warriors of Future - 2022 - 1.5 stars

Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio - 2022 - 3 stars

Lost in London - 2017 - 3 stars

Duck Butter - 2018 - 3 stars

Sherman's March - 1985 - 4 stars

Scanners - 1981 - 3 stars

Too Old to Die Young - 2019 - 4 stars

Let the Corpses Tan - 2017 - 2.5 stars

Life as a House - 2001 - 3.5 stars

The Wailing - 2016 - 4 stars

Bronson - 2008 - 3 stars

The Painted Lady - 2012 - 4 stars

Only God Forgives - 2013 - 4.5 stars

Pusher - 1996 - 2.5 stars

The Final Girls - 2015 - 4 stars

Bottom of the World - 2017 - 4.5 stars

Moonrise Kingdom - 2012 - 4 stars

Bottle Rocket - 1996 - 3 stars

The Fabelmans - 2022 - 2 stars

All Quiet on the Western Front - 2022 - 3 stars

Foxfur - 2012 - 2 stars

1408 - 2007 - 4 stars

The Damned United - 2009 - 4 stars

Empire of Light - 2022 - 3 stars

Encounter - 2021 - 3.5 stars

Everything Is Illuminated - 2005 - 4 stars

The Encounter - 2010 - 1 stars

The Ritual - 2017 - 3 stars

Valhalla Rising - 2009 - 2.5 stars

Fast Color - 2018 - 3 stars

Kumaré - 2012 - 2.5 stars

The Slammin' Salmon - 2009 - 3 stars

Deep Murder - 2018 - 3 stars

The Invitation - 2022 - 2 stars

Antiviral - 2012 - 4 stars

Jodorowsky's Dune - 2013 - 3 stars

Dark Star - 1974 - 1.5 stars

Pooling to Paradise - 2021 - 3 stars

Bones and All - 2022 - 3 stars

Woodshock - 2017 - 3 stars

Holy Motors - 2012 - 5 stars

We Are Little Zombies - 2019 - 1.5 stars

The Outwaters - 2022 - 2 stars

Incantation - 2022 - 4 stars

We Are Boats - 2018 - 1 stars

The Whale - 2022 - 3.5 stars

Pleasure - 2021 - 4 stars

Margaux - 2022 - 1 stars

Advantageous - 2015 - 1 stars

Puss in Boots: The Last Wish - 2022 - 3 stars

The Pale Blue Eye - 2022 - 4 stars

Infinity Pool - 2023 - 4.5 stars

Nymphomaniac: Vol. II - 2013 - 3 stars

Victoria - 2015 - 1 stars

Horatio's Drive: America's First Road Trip - 2003 - 3.5 stars

The Survivalist - 2015 - 3 stars

Memory 2.0 - 2014 - 2.5 stars

The Living Wake - 2007 - 1 stars

Shirkers - 2018 - 4 stars

Next - 2007 - 2 stars

Into the Wild - 2007 - 3.5 stars

In the Hero - 2014 - 4 stars

A Cure for Wellness - 2016 - 3.5 stars

The Ruins - 2008 - 2.5 stars

Fresh - 2022 - 3 stars

A Cry in the Wild - 1990 - 2 stars

Toad Road - 2012 - 3 stars

In the Tall Grass - 2019 - 1 stars

The Kitchen - 2012 - 1 stars

Pink Hill - 2019 - 1 stars

Strawberry Mansion - 2021 - 3 stars

Chronic - 2015 - 1 stars

Martyrs - 2008 - 3.5 stars

Fantasia - 1940 - 3 stars

Deep Water - 2022 - 1 stars

Modern Whore - 2020 - 3.5 stars

Maniac - 2018 - 2.5 stars

Lucky - 2017 - 1 stars

Love, Death & Robots: The Witness - 2019 - 3.5 stars

Filth - 2013 - 1 stars

Amer - 2009 - 3.5 stars

Dreams - 1990 - 3 stars

Imprint - 2006 - 4 stars

Timelapse of the Future: A Journey to the End of Time - 2019 - 3.5 stars

Last and First Men - 2020 - 3 stars

Lake Mungo - 2008 - 2 stars

Killer Joe - 2011 - 4 stars

Antebellum - 2020 - 5 stars

The Nightmare - 2015 - 3 stars

The Nightmare - 2015 - 1.5 stars

The Strange Color of Your Body's Tears - 2013 - 2 stars

The Innocents - 2021 - 3 stars

Knife+Heart - 2018 - 1 stars

Eden Lake - 2008 - 1 stars

Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom - 1975 - 1.5 stars

13 Assassins - 2010 - 2.5 stars

Videodrome - 1983 - 3.5 stars

A Pigeon Sat on a Branch Reflecting on Existence - 2014 - 1 stars

Kajillionaire - 2020 - 1 stars

The Laughing Woman - 1969 - 3 stars

Sword of Desperation - 2010 - 3.5 stars

Jumbo - 2020 - 1.5 stars

She Dies Tomorrow - 2020 - 3 stars

Belladonna of Sadness - 1973 - 2 stars

Natural Born Killers - 1994 - 3 stars

Lars and the Real Girl - 2007 - 3 stars

Orlando - 1992 - 3 stars

Szamanka - 1996 - 3 stars

I, Tonya - 2017 - 3 stars

Gone Girl - 2014 - 3 stars

Fright Night - 2011 - 3 stars

A Field in England - 2013 - 2 stars

Timecrimes - 2007 - 2.5 stars

Crazy Samurai Musashi - 2020 - 2 stars

Suzume - 2022 - 3.5 stars

John Mulaney: Baby J - 2023 - 3 stars

John Mulaney & The Sack Lunch Bunch - 2019 - 1.5 stars

BEEF - 2023 - 1.5 stars

Night Is Short, Walk on Girl - 2017 - 3 stars

Patrick Melrose - 2018 - 3 stars

The Duke of Burgundy - 2014 - 3 stars

Thelma - 2017 - 3.5 stars

After Hours - 1985 - 3 stars

The Rusted - 2015 - 3 stars

Inside Man - 2006 - 2 stars

The Lair of the White Worm - 1988 - 2 stars

American Animals - 2018 - 3.5 stars

Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves - 2023 - 3 stars

Babylon - 2022 - 3 stars

Unstoppable - 2010 - 2.5 stars

Hurlyburly - 1998 - 1.5 stars

Venus in Fur - 2013 - 3 stars

I'm a Virgo - 2023 - 4.5 stars

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse - 2023 - 4.5 stars

Lux Æterna - 2019 - 3.5 stars

M3GAN - 2022 - 1.5 stars

Asteroid City - 2023 - 4 stars

I Am the Pretty Thing That Lives in the House - 2016 - 2 stars

Barbie - 2023 - 4.5 stars

Oppenheimer - 2023 - 4.5 stars

Like Me - 2017 - 4 stars

Megan Is Missing - 2011 - 4 stars

Selfie from Hell - 2018 - 2 stars

Cutter's Way - 1981 - 3 stars

Marrowbone - 2017 - 3 stars

Polite Society - 2023 - 4 stars

Carmen - 2022 - 4 stars

Splice - 2009 - 3.5 stars

Exiled - 2006 - 4 stars

Cam - 2018 - 4 stars

Pulse - 2001 - 3 stars

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo - 2011 - 3 stars

Sunset Boulevard - 1950 - 3 stars

Bug - 2006 - 4 stars

The Signal - 2007 - 3 stars

Thunder Road - 2018 - 1.5 stars

A Scanner Darkly - 2006 - 3 stars

Ratter - 2015 - 3 stars

The Cremator - 1969 - 2 stars

The Forbidden Room - 2015 - 1.5 stars

Joy Ride - 2023 - 3 stars

Barry Lyndon - 1975 - 4.5 stars

Easy Rider - 1969 - 3.5 stars

Hard Candy - 2005 - 1.5 stars

The Last King of Scotland - 2006 - 2 stars

Gotham - 1988 - 3 stars

Some Kind of Heaven - 2020 - 3 stars

Consecration - 2023 - 3 stars

Broadcast Signal Intrusion - 2021 - 4.5 stars

Before the Devil Knows You're Dead - 2007 - 3.5 stars

The Gathering - 2001 - 2.5 stars

Medusa Deluxe - 2022 - 3.5 stars

Run Rabbit Run - 2023 - 3.5 stars

No One Will Save You - 2023 - 3.5 stars

The Venture Bros.: Radiant Is the Blood of the Baboon Heart - 2023 - 3.5 stars

A Haunting in Venice - 2023 - 3 stars

Medusa - 2020 - 3.5 stars

Black Medusa - 2021 - 3.5 stars

A Tale of Two Sisters - 2003 - 3 stars

Medusa's Venom - 2023 - 3 stars

Perfume: The Story of a Murderer - 2006 - 2.5 stars

Ms .45 - 1981 - 3.5 stars

Shiva Baby - 2020 - 2.5 stars

Margin Call - 2011 - 4 stars

Unfriended: Dark Web - 2018 - 2.5 stars

The Rapture - 1991 - 4 stars

Demonic - 2021 - 2 stars

The Wolf of Wall Street - 2013 - 2 stars

Take Shelter - 2011 - 2 stars

The Fourth Kind - 2009 - 2.5 stars

Don Jon - 2013 - 4 stars

Deerskin - 2019 - 2 stars

In a World... - 2013 - 3 stars

Let the Right One In - 2008 - 3 stars

Sling Blade - 1996 - 4 stars

Monster's Ball - 2001 - 4 stars

Paranormal Activity - 2007 - 3 stars

The Gift - 2015 - 3 stars

2 Days in New York - 2012 - 1 stars

Glasshouse - 2021 - 3.5 stars

The Countess - 2009 - 2 stars

Have a Good Trip: Adventures in Psychedelics - 2020 - 1.5 stars

The Devil All the Time - 2020 - 2 stars

The Vietnam War - 2017 - 3.5 stars

Stop Making Sense - 1984 - 2.5 stars

Look Away - 2018 - 3 stars

The City and the City - 2018 - 2.5 stars

11.22.63 - 2016 - 2 stars

Nathan for You: Finding Frances - 2017 - 3.5 stars

They Cloned Tyrone - 2023 - 4.5 stars

The Ninth Configuration - 1980 - 1 stars

Deep Rising - 1998 - 2 stars

Mud - 2012 - 4 stars

The Borderlands - 2013 - 2 stars

After Blue - 2021 - 2.5 stars

Ghostbusters: Afterlife - 2021 - 3 stars

Prisoners - 2013 - 3.5 stars

Zodiac - 2007 - 3 stars

The Girl with All the Gifts - 2016 - 3 stars

Rabbit-Proof Fence - 2002 - 3.5 stars

The Fall of the House of Usher - 2023 - 4.5 stars

The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar - 2023 - 4 stars

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 - 2023 - 3.5 stars

Poison - 2023 - 3 stars

The Rat Catcher - 2023 - 2.5 stars

The Swan - 2023 - 2.5 stars

Knock at the Cabin - 2023 - 3 stars

The Wait - 2013 - 2 stars

Reptile - 2023 - 1 stars

Ping Pong the Animation - 2014 - 4 stars

Revenge - 2017 - 4 stars

Searching - 2018 - 1.5 stars

Undergods - 2020 - 3.5 stars

Enemy - 2013 - 3.5 stars

The Lego Movie - 2014 - 3 stars

Man of Steel - 2013 - 3.5 stars

Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle - 2017 - 3.5 stars

Bound - 1996 - 3 stars

Braid - 2018 - 4.5 stars

The Ghoul - 2016 - 2.5 stars

The House of the Devil - 2009 - 2.5 stars

The Dark Tapes - 2016 - 3 stars

The English - 2022 - 3 stars

Pontypool - 2008 - 3 stars

Antrum - 2018 - 3 stars

The Myth of the American Sleepover - 2010 - 4 stars

The Innkeepers - 2011 - 2 stars

Dallas Buyers Club - 2013 - 4 stars

Green Room - 2015 - 4 stars

Sinister - 2012 - 3 stars

Jacob's Ladder - 1990 - 3 stars

Free Samples - 2012 - 4 stars

Teeth - 2007 - 3 stars

A Time to Kill - 1996 - 3 stars

Two for the Money - 2005 - 3 stars

Source Code - 2011 - 3 stars

A Quiet Place - 2018 - 3 stars

The Royal Hotel - 2023 - 2.5 stars

Naked Singularity - 2021 - 3 stars

Don't Breathe - 2016 - 2.5 stars

Troy - 2004 - 2.5 stars

Morgan - 2016 - 2 stars

The Autopsy of Jane Doe - 2016 - 3 stars

Lot 36 - 2022 - 4 stars

Coraline - 2009 - 2 stars

Listen Up Philip - 2014 - 1 stars

The Book of Henry - 2017 - 2 stars

Talk to Me - 2022 - 3.5 stars

House - 1977 - 3 stars

The Night House - 2020 - 3.5 stars

The Killer - 2023 - 3 stars

Chained for Life - 2018 - 3 stars

Most Beautiful Island - 2017 - 3.5 stars

Dumplings - 2004 - 2 stars

The Burial - 2023 - 2.5 stars

The Social Network - 2010 - 3 stars

The Last Black Man in San Francisco - 2019 - 3 stars

Hidden - 2015 - 3 stars

Red Eye - 2005 - 2 stars

In the Cut - 2003 - 3 stars

Steve Jobs - 2015 - 4 stars

Frailty - 2001 - 3 stars

The Mandela Effect - 2019 - 2 stars

Them - 2021 - 2 stars

Tone-Deaf - 2019 - 3 stars

The Fall - 2006 - 4 stars

Excision - 2012 - 4 stars

American Mary - 2012 - 3.5 stars

My house walk-through - 2016 - 3.5 stars

Swing Girls - 2004 - 3 stars

No Hard Feelings - 2023 - 3 stars

Medusa - 2021 - 4.5 stars

Sin City: A Dame to Kill For - 2014 - 3 stars

Stargate: The Ark of Truth - 2008 - 2.5 stars

Star Trek: Nemesis - 2002 - 2 stars

The Number 23 - 2007 - 2 stars

Emma. - 2020 - 4.5 stars

Cremaster 3 - 2002 - 3 stars

Synchronicity - 2015 - 1 stars

The Brotherhood of Satan - 1971 - 2 stars

Mr. Nobody - 2009 - 1 stars

Inside - 2023 - 2 stars

Terminal - 2018 - 1 stars

Franklyn - 2008 - 1 stars

Mauvais Sang - 1986 - 1 stars

Jennifer's Body - 2009 - 4 stars

The White Room - 1989 - 2 stars

Cosmos - 2019 - 1 stars

Hard Eight - 1996 - 2 stars

Hotel - 2001 - 1 stars

The Lathe of Heaven - 1980 - 1 stars

Lost River - 2014 - 4.5 stars

Passage - 2009 - 3 stars

Spring Breakers - 2012 - 4 stars

Nightbreed - 1990 - 3.5 stars

Hell House LLC III: Lake of Fire - 2019 - 2.5 stars

Tell Me Who I Am - 2019 - 3 stars

Vortex - 2021 - 2 stars

His House - 2020 - 3 stars

The Strangers - 2008 - 2.5 stars

The Wonder - 2022 - 3 stars

The Heroic Trio - 1993 - 3.5 stars

Happy as Lazzaro - 2018 - 3 stars

The Last Unicorn - 1982 - 2.5 stars

Under the Shadow - 2016 - 2.5 stars

A Monster Calls - 2016 - 3.5 stars

A.I. Artificial Intelligence - 2001 - 2 stars

Re/Member - 2022 - 4 stars

Class Action Park - 2020 - 3 stars

The Beguiled - 2017 - 4 stars

Burning - 2018 - 4 stars

The House - 2022 - 2.5 stars

Superman II - 1980 - 3.5 stars

Rush - 2013 - 4 stars

Blackhat - 2015 - 2 stars

He Never Died - 2015 - 1.5 stars

6 Underground - 2019 - 1 stars

Hellhole - 2022 - 3 stars

Superbad - 2007 - 3 stars

Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams - 2002 - 1 stars

Sunshine - 2007 - 2.5 stars

Scarface - 1983 - 4.5 stars

Gerald's Game - 2017 - 3 stars

The Bridge Curse - 2020 - 2 stars

Minari - 2020 - 1 stars

Lady Bird - 2017 - 2 stars

The Great Beauty - 2013 - 1 stars

John Dies at the End - 2012 - 2.5 stars

The Tree of Life - 2011 - 2 stars

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom - 1984 - 2 stars

The Double - 2013 - 1 stars

Snake Eyes - 1998 - 4 stars

In the Mood for Love - 2000 - 4 stars

Stigma - 1977 - 3 stars

Black Widow - 2021 - 2.5 stars

House of Flying Daggers - 2004 - 4 stars

The Virgin Suicides - 1999 - 3.5 stars

The Square - 2017 - 2.5 stars

Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping - 2016 - 2.5 stars

Black Orpheus - 1959 - 1 stars

Bad Santa - 2003 - 1 stars

Chernobyl Diaries - 2012 - 2 stars

My Neighbor Totoro - 1988 - 3 stars

Tombstone - 1993 - 2.5 stars

Fire of Love - 2022 - 3.5 stars

BLUE EYE SAMURAI - 2023 - 1.5 stars

Poor Things - 2023 - 4.5 stars

Love Has Won: The Cult of Mother God - 2023 - 4 stars

Godzilla Minus One - 2023 - 3.5 stars

The Dropout - 2022 - 3 stars

Misery - 1990 - 2 stars

The Incredible Burt Wonderstone - 2013 - 2 stars

PVT Chat - 2020 - 1 stars

The Last Emperor - 1987 - 3.5 stars

Moonlight - 2016 - 3.5 stars

Sanctuary - 2022 - 3 stars

God's Time - 2022 - 2.5 stars

She Will - 2021 - 4.5 stars

See How They Run - 2022 - 3 stars

Breaking the Waves - 1996 - 2 stars

The Woman in Black - 2012 - 1 stars

The Gambler - 2014 - 1 stars

Minor Premise - 2020 - 1.5 stars

The Man Who Killed Hitler and Then the Bigfoot - 2018 - 2 stars

Gaia - 2021 - 3 stars

Upgrade - 2018 - 1 stars

The Mill - 2023 - 2 stars

12 Hour Shift - 2020 - 3.5 stars

Ready or Not - 2019 - 3 stars

The Lost World: Jurassic Park - 1997 - 3.5 stars

Something in the Dirt - 2022 - 3 stars

The Deep End - 2022 - 3 stars

Alita: Battle Angel - 2019 - 1 stars

The Sacrament - 2013 - 2.5 stars

From Here to Eternity - 1953 - 2 stars

The French Connection - 1971 - 1.5 stars

Ordinary People - 1980 - 1 stars

Platoon - 1986 - 3 stars

The Player - 1992 - 4 stars

Saltburn - 2023 - 4.5 stars

Red Cliff - 2008 - 3.5 stars

Stolen Youth: Inside the Cult at Sarah Lawrence - 2023 - 3 stars

The Beyond - 1981 - 2 stars

I would say none of the movies I watched this year were truly great, S-tier movies, compared to last year which had two (EEAAO, and Vengeance.) However, I found this year had a good variety of movies at the A-tier below that (some of which I still need to see.)

But this makes choosing “the best” difficult. Instead I will hand out awards:

• The “Hold a Gun to my Head and Threaten Cronenberg Style Violence on Me to Pick 2023’s Best” Award goes to Infinity Pool, by Brendan Cronenberg.
• The Studio Ghibli Award for “I Meant to See This but my Theater Stopped Showing It” Award goes to How Do You Live AKA the Boy and the Heron.
• The “I Can’t Believe Three Contenders for Best Movie of the Year Were All Released on the Same Day” award goes to Oppenheimer, Barbie, and They Cloned Tyrone.
• The “Dogtooth” Award for Yorgos Lanthimos Sure Does Like Fucked Up Sexuality goes to Poor Things. Also a recipient of the “Cruella award for Damn Emma Stone is Fine” Award.
• The Don Glover Award for “Black Made Movie that Manages to Hugely Offend the Identity-Left” goes to Antebellum.
• The Most French Award goes to Holy Motors.
• The First And Only Time Directing Awards are split. The “I Really Want to Be Nicholas Refn and Everyone Hated It” Award goes to Lost River by Ryan Gosling. The “If You All Liked It So Much Why Hasn’t Anyone Hired Me to Make Another Movie” Award goes to Emma. 2020 by Autumn de Wilde. (Though Don Jon by JGL is a runner up.)
• The Alice Krige “Borg Queen, Controlling Mother of a Cult Leader, Vengeful Hollywood Witch - What Can’t She do?” Award goes to She Will. 
• The Brit Marling “Creates a Cult Following Also a Cult” Award goes to Broadcast Signal Intrusion, by Jacob Gentry.
• And finally, the Zack Snyder “Everyone Hates This but C’mon It is Clearly Amazing Camp” Award goes to Saltburn, by Emerald Fenell.